12 Killer Mistakes Men Make When Trying To Pick Up Women

by Alex Matlock

You go out, you try your best, you even thought that it was going well but yet, you end up home, all by yourself. If this sort of thing happens to you it’s probably because you are doing something wrong. Read the mistakes below so that next time you know where to pay attention.

1.       Believing that attractive women are unapproachable

This is one of the most common misconceptions about women. There are 2 sides to this story: one tells us that very attractive women are mean and heartless and that you can never get them (tough you always see some guy holding their hand…); and the other story tells us that attractive women are the loneliest women alive. Well the truth is, they are just like any other women but less insecure (aware of their hotness). How do we deal with this? Stop thinking so much and go approach her, the more you think about this, the higher your anxiety levels which increase your chances of failing. If done right, you’ll find that these women are very approachable and the only way to see that is to actually try it.

2.       Complimenting an (attractive) woman on her physical appearance

Never compliment an attractive woman about her psychical appearance. They’ve heard it way too much, they just want a guy that is different, a guy that doesn’t tell them just how hot they are and how beautiful their eyes are and all that average frustrated chump talk.

Only compliment women about their appearance when you notice they are very insecure. To be honest, most women are insecure about something, but when it comes to looks, if they look good they know it. Quite frankly, if they’re very insecure, you shouldn’t even be talking to them.

3.       Staring at women for extended periods of time

Staring at women for extended periods of time is never a good thing. First of all you are creepy, I mean, just think about it for a second “That guy has been staring at me all night…he’s starting to freak me out” is something they might say to their friends. Do you want to be that guy? NO! Then stop staring.

Also the more you stare, the more insecure you become. I am a true believer of the 3 second rule, you don’t have to live your life by it but it’s a fantastic rule. Just think about the last night you were out, you liked that girl and started looking at her, you wanted to make a move instantly but then, something kept you back, then you started thinking, well what should I say? What if she says no? What if she ignores me? What if her friends will laugh? … and then she leaves. This is just one of the reasons why you should always have a standard opener ready so you never have to think about what you have to say. When in doubt, just say “HI”.

4.       Being afraid to approach a woman when there are men in the group

I think all men; including myself find this one hard to do. Approaching a woman that’s in a group with guys is never easy. The first thing that springs to mind – is she someone’s girlfriend?  In case she is you’ll just be making a fool of yourself however, scan the group for a second, watch if there’s any indication of that, if not, make the move. Regardless of how hard it may seem, when women see this random guy coming over to them even though these 3 lame guys are sitting here doing nothing…who do you think is going to get her attention?  If you’re an entertainer (good with people) you can even get the guys involved into the conversation, ask them where they are from, you can even make fun of them but only slightly. These guys won’t know what hit them and she will be very impressed.

5.       Waiting for her to make the first move

Sadly, in our man minds this one is a pretty popular. We all know we should be making the move but yet, we think that if we sit in the corner there, ignoring everyone, she will suddenly come up to us and start a conversation. Don’t get me wrong…it has happened but what are the odds of that? 1 in 1000 maybe?

Think about when you wanted to get a job. Did you sit at home waiting for people to hear about you from somewhere and suddenly give you a job? Probably not, because if you’re doing that you don’t have a job… You applied to as many places as you could until you got a job. Well the same life principles apply with the ladies too.

6.       Falling in “love” before even making contact

This is a stupid mistake often made by a lot of beginners.  They see a woman and before they even approach her, they start to think…”OMG she is so gorgeous, she is the woman of my dreams, I want to have her babies, if I get this girl I will marry her tomorrow”. What do you think this does? First of all it will make it impossible for you to approach her because you don’t want to mess all this lifetime of happiness that is about to happen. Second of all you will speak to her like a total wuss, drooling over her, gazing in her eyes and being a total turnoff. Finally, when you get rejected, you will cry yourself to sleep because she was the one.

Stop making these mistakes, you are only hurting yourself!

7.       Using the same lame opener

I’m not going to go into too much detail with this one; it’s basically what the title says. Stop using the same lame opener over and over again because it worked once or because you really like it. I was addicted to “So, what’s your story?” but most of the time it freaked girls out. Just saying “Hi” has proven so much more effective countless of times so, when in doubt, just say “Hi”.

8.       Showing desperation

Girls feel it when men are desperate. We’ve all been there, after a couple of months of no action, you really want to get something going. You go out, you try it with every girl, you get more and more frustrated because it’s not happening again and again, only to end up getting nothing. Women hate desperation, they go for guys that look like they don’t care, that’s why guys with girlfriends seem to have it easier, because they just don’t care if they win or lose.

Women also go for guys that have a lot of female attention, considering that your reading this article, you might not have a lot of female attention but surely you have some girl-friends. Next time you go out, get them to come with you, talk to all of them, make them laugh, draw attention to yourself and see if that improves your chances.

If you are feeling desperate and you don’t want to show it, the best thing to do is to take a break from it all. Don’t go out for 2 or so weeks. It may seem like a long time even more so because you’ve been dry for a while but, clearing your mind and stepping away from the game will ease you up and make you forget about the frustration.

9.       Not showing your true intentions

Let’s be honest here, what do we want from women? Most of us want sex, and women know that. If you go out, start talking to her, and talking and talking some more and where the heck is this going? She will start to wonder what does this guy really want and then BAM you’re either in the friend zone or not getting any action.

Women love honesty and maybe even more than honesty they love feelings. If you are in touch with your feelings and desires (being open about how you want to rip her clothes off) then she will respect you for it and know from the beginning that you ARE interested in her. Trust me, it will bring results just make sure you don’t say stupid things such as “baby you’re so hot I want to do you right here right now”, be more subtle but let your intentions come to light.

10.   Caring too much

Caring should not be in your vocabulary, sure you can care for your loving wife when you have one but now, you’re just trying to get this hottie into bed. If you end up talking to her all night only to discover that this isn’t going to go anywhere why should you care? You will only disappoint yourself. Don’t do that! Instead, dust off, go home, and come back tomorrow because the next, all night conversation, will lead to something better.

11.   Fear of rejection

You should never fear rejection. Rejection is something that occurs all the time, don’t believe people that say you will never get rejected, NO, you will but, that’s just part of the game. The more you try, the more rejections you deal with, the better your game becomes which results in less and less rejections.

When I first started I was getting rejected by 80% of the girls I approached (it may have been down to my looks), but did I care? NO. The moment you stop caring about rejection, is the moment you stop fearing rejection, and when this happens your success with women will change.

12.   Believing she is different

Depending on your game some women will always try to act as if they know you, they know what you are about. When this happens some guys think “OMG this girl is really different, she is really smart, she’s got me totally figured out”. It’s not true, this is her trying to tell you that she knows the game and whatever else but in fact, she is susceptible to the same attraction triggers like the other 99% of women.

If you learned all the right techniques and all the right lines, go with them, do not believe her. DO NOT think she’s different and “I need to be myself because the game won’t work on her”. Focus your mind and remember that the game WILL work on her.

Right so next time you go out make sure you keep all of these “mistakes” in mind and don’t make a fool of yourself! Your game can only get better if you play it more.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Jonathon@affiliatesouth

Complimenting women on their physical appearance is about as lame as those old pick up lines like “what’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this” or it’s counterpart “what’s a girl like you doing in a beautiful place like this” … most confident women in bars have heard it all before and can smell BS a mile away.

Try something different like “hey I couldn’t help noticing you on the dance floor. Those were some pretty cool moves you were doing. Are you a professional dancer?”

Commenting on something other than her beauty and adding a sensible question that she can actually respond to is more likely to get a conversation going.

“Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.” Sean Connery

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afzal

This article is awesome man. How did I miss that first?

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Ali Jackman

Awesome post.

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Sung

What’s up, just wanted to mention, I liked this post. It was inspiring. Keep on posting!

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