Life works in a very funny way. If you’re not in a relationship all you want is to be in one and once you’re in one, you wish you were single. Now that you’re single, it’s only a little while until you want a relationship again. This article focuses on the Pros and Cons of being in a relationship, regardless of where you are right now (in or out of a relationship), you’ll be able to see what you’re missing, but also what you’re lucky to have.
Let’s start off with the Pros:
The best reason that comes with being in a relationship is the constant sex. Regardless of your libido, or hers you will get laid much more often than when you were single. This is good for 2 main reasons: one, it takes your mind of sex and other women and two, as a direct result of one, you can actually focus your mind on other things such as your job, career, etc. Personally if I’m not in some sort of relationship or constant sex activity, all I can think about is getting laid. If I need to go out every night for it to happen, not much time is left to focus on the other things in life.
Also, sex in a relationship is the best sex. In time you get to know each other, you get to see what she likes and she gets to learn what you like. I would say it’s impossible to compare relationship sex with one night stand sex, unless the one night stand is a professional porn star/hooker that has sex for a living.
If you’re the type of guy that hates loneliness, a relationship is for you. If you’ve got house mates that are always home then loneliness shouldn’t be an issue but, if you live by yourself and only see your friends a couple of times a week then, you probably need a girlfriend.
I think you can only feel truly lonely when you experience a relationship and know exactly how it could be different or, if all of your friends are now in committed relationships and you find yourself alone all the time. If this isn’t the case then you’re probably not missing anything.
Having someone who accepts you for who you are
Another great thing about being in a relationship is the fact that you can stop pretending and just be yourself. In the initial stages or if you “play the game” a lot, you always have to work on your attitude. After she accepts you for who you are you can let loose and be yourself. It’s like being around your best friend but getting to have sex with them.
Not having to pretend anymore is a truly amazing feeling.
So here we are at the final Pro. I have been in love, a number of times now and it’s the most sophisticated human emotion. I find it impossible to describe the feeling; it feels good and somewhat bad at the same time.
Supposedly, real players never fall in love but, it has happened to all of us. There’s not much to say here, if I was a woman I would probably be better at describing this human emotion however, circumstances make me a man, so all I can say is if you want to see love, go out there, try to really get to know someone and eventually, it will happen to you too.
Here are the cons:
You can cheat, but any real player knows that he needs to take care of his reputation, as the same reputation is what got him the relationship in the first place. Many men find monogamy to be a big disadvantage but as horrible as it may be, sex when in a relationship is far better than random sex with many other girls. Relationships are like a two edged sword regarding sex, it takes a lot of self understanding and maturity to fully commit.
If you’re the kind of guy who dreams about sleeping with as many women as possible (and there’s many of us out there) then monogamy and a committed relationship will be a major turn down.
This is tied with love. The more you love, the more jealous you are. In a relationship both of you can be jealous. I promise you, being jealous sucks; it’s probably one of the worst feelings in the world.
It’s even worse when she’s the jealous one, you can be sitting at your friends house, having some beers and she can randomly call you exploding with accusations of cheating and all sorts or crazy things.
Trust is the only thing that can put jealousy to rest but, building that trust may be the hardest thing you do in the relationship.
Not much alone time
A relationship is good because you’re never alone but, as you get more committed you stop being alone all together and that starts to become a problem. I once helped a good friend of mine get a girlfriend, he fell in love and things seemed to be great. The other day he called me up to complain about his current situation.
While I never told him to do this, he had his girlfriend move in with him. He explained how he lost all of his “own things”. For example: if he’s doing pushups with the music turned on, she puts her own music and starts doing aerobics, he can’t sit at the computer to watch a guy movie because she wants to watch something too (e.g The Notebook – we all know that one). If she wants to listen to music, she uses his speakers and it drives him insane. The list goes on and on but you probably get the point by now.
Sadly, this happens to many guys that feel trapped in a relationship. If you like your space and couldn’t see anyone being part of it, then you’ve got some serious issues and it’s probably not time for a committed relationship.
Not much time with your friends
Apart from not having much alone time, you won’t be able to spend much time with your friends either. Sure at the beginning you set boundaries but as time progresses it becomes increasingly difficult to see your mates. Two reasons fall into place here: she either wants to be involved and you can’t really involve her or she wants you to spend more time with her. Because she’s the one having sex with you, it’s only natural to stay with her instead of your friends.
This sort of thing is a major downside especially if you’re the social type of person that has many friends. The only way to avoid this is to have common friends from the beginning otherwise you either end up just with her all the time, or with “new” common friends which aren’t really common and are more her friends.
If you don’t have a lot of things in common arguments and fights will arise constantly. This is primarily the reason for the term “soul mates”, some people simply match. If you don’t match or can’t take each other’s bad habits you’re going to be fighting a lot.
Some relationships thrive on the fights but usually arguments and fights are a major emotional strain. The more frequent they happen the more they affect your day to day life and if that’s the case, you’re better off just being single.
The success of your relationship will be based strongly on your character and compatibility with the other person. Bearing all this in mind take caution when you jump into a relationship and make sure you do the right thing, hurting yourself and the other person isn’t doing anyone any good.