I usually write a lot about how to meet women, how to go on dates and how to get those dates to end in bed. Sure, for some men that’s enough, but what happens to the ones that want more? Do relationships just happen?
Last week I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine. He explained that even though he was “scoring” fairly regularly, he never managed to keep dating the same person longer than 2-3 months. He was very puzzled as to why the women in his life lost interest after a period of time. It was quite obvious – he was driving them away.
A few months gives a women plenty of time to “really know you”, it’s here when she decides if you are a worthy investment. If, by her standards, you’re not promising, she loses interest.
Although you believe you’re doing everything right, the women that you’re dating seem to differ. This article discusses the most common reasons men drive women away. I’ve split them up into 2 categories, physical turnoffs and behavioral turnoffs and will be detailing both types in this article. You might think some of them are obvious but pay close attention to the ones you didn’t know about as they might just be the reason you are losing out.
Before we get into this subject, I want to make it clear that by physical turnoffs I’m not talking about your belly, weak arms, inability of benching 180kg etc. More often than not women are not looking for the strongest/most beautiful guy in the room; they just want a man with class, confidence and proper etiquette. Do you think she would go out with you for a month if she cared about your invisible six-pack?
Here are some of the things you need to avoid if you want your “relationships” to be longer.
Bad bodily habits
Yawning without covering your mouth – Do you think she wants to look at your tonsils every time you’re tired? No and this also shows her that you lack proper etiquette.
Burping Loudly – Unless you’re Chinese (many other Asian cultures) and you’re complimenting the restaurant chef or her cooking, constrain yourself from doing such “activities” as in most western cultures that’s just disgusting.
Spitting – Regardless of how bad you think you need to do it, try NOT doing it when she’s around.
Clearing your phlegm throat loudly and incessantly – Avoid this by drinking some water or not talking, if you really have to do it, just excuse yourself for a moment and sort it out at the toilet.
Picking in/around your nose – This is a common thing that your kindergarten teacher was telling you not to do however, when you start to feel comfortable around a person (after 1-2 months or so) you begin to forget about controlling yourself and you start doing things without even realizing.
Displaying nervous ticks – Nervous ticks can be anything from biting nails to blinking profusely. Such bodily habits are not easy to control and if you can’t avoid them, best is to pray she’s not bothered by them.
Eating with no etiquette – It’s considered common sense to eat with your mouth close, to hold the fork and knife properly and not to talk with your mouth full. No girl wants you’re chewed puree in her hair.
Blowing your nose – Some people consider this as being normal and are ok with doing it in public however, most people consider it disgusting. If you have to do it, do it in private. If you must do it in front of her, make sure you excuse yourself.
Scratching inappropriate areas of your body – Do you think a woman would feel attracted to a man that scratches his testicles or butt in public? I didn’t think so either.
During the first few dates, you might keep a lid on these things but slowly you forget and that’s what drives them away. Always, when you’re with a woman and you feel the need to fulfill any of these bodily urges, simply excuse yourself and do your business in private. Think about it, would you still feel attracted to her if she did anything on the list? Exactly and that’s why you shouldn’t be doing them either.
Eye crust – You can easily avoid this by simply washing your face in the morning.
Bad breath –At least at some point in their life, over 85% of people suffer from halitosis (bad breath). Try to take every precaution – floss, brush your tongue and use mouthwash.
Sweaty Pits – These are very disgusting and some guys just can’t avoid them. If you sweat profusely even though you use a lot of deodorant, try wearing light color clothes (or plain black) as sweat stains are less visible on them.
Clothes issues – These can be anything from stains and or wrinkles on clothing, holes in underwear, undershirt and/or socks. Avoid them at all costs as they can only make you look bad.
Dirty, long fingernails – Women look at hands all the time and no woman wants to see a guy whose hands look like he’s been gardening all day. When it comes to long fingernails, unless you rock that classic guitar, you have no excuse.
You should focus on these issues all the time, not just when you’re on a date. In the future, make sure you take those extra 15 minutes in the morning or before you go out in public; the result will be well worth it.
Constantly talking about yourself – It’s true, she does want to know you but, she wants you to know her too. Try asking her questions about your life and be genuinely interested in her existence.
Not listening to her – During these first months do your best to listen, it may seem hard but it has to be done. Women love a guy that listens to them.
Being very vague – Constantly talking about yourself is no good but remember, she does want to know you too. Let her in on the interesting stuff but not your entire life story.
Checking out other girls and making remarks – You’re out with her because you’re interested in her. If you keep looking at other women she’ll just think that you find her unattractive. Why should she be with a man that doesn’t find her attractive?
Complaining about every aspect of your life – Think about it, if you hate your life, why would she want to be part of it?
Not introducing her to people you know – She wants to be part of “your world” that’s what makes her fall in love with you. With you she can meet people and do stuff she wouldn’t have done with anyone else. Don’t keep that away from her.
Laughing like a hyena – She might have great sense of humor but laughing so hard that everyone in the restaurant looks at you, will only embarrass you both.
Insulting women and exes – This only shows how you will talk about her when she’s not there. Also, never talk about your ex, regardless of the pain and suffering she put you trough, those stories are for your friends. Talking about your ex only tells your new girlfriend that you’re still in love with her.
Having a one-track mind – A man should always stand by his beliefs but he must also be opened to new possibilities, you don’t have to agree with her, but at least acknowledge her valid point of view.
As exhaustive as this list may seem, you’ve surely heard your female friends complain about some of the items on it. This list helps women decide whether a guy is boyfriend material or a one-time date.
You can also use this list for yourself, you might like her a lot but if she’s doing some of the things here its best you stay away.
Always remember, it’s not just the first few dates that require your constant attention, it’s the first few months. Eventually things dwell down and you can be yourself. Hey, if she had the chance to know you and like you for who you really are, she might even tolerate some of your bad “qualities” but before that happens, do your best not to drive her away.